Batten Down for the Zombie Apocalypse

Smutty is pleased to announce that the final important aspect of the election has now been covered thanks to Joss Whedon.  Joss has done an excellent job distilling the choices in this election down to its purest elements.

Do you want the Zombie Apocalypse?

If you are truly prepared and unafraid of the Zombie Apocalypse, stand tall behind Mitt Romney and cast your vote secure in the belief that you can weather the coming storm.

Read more…

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Romney Flip Flops Again

Smutty is wearing a neck brace.  He strained his neck from trying to keep up with Mitt Romney’s constantly changing stream of lies.  (And hey, check out the hairstyle change from early “car salesman” to a more laid back modern style).  Smutty is interested in seeing the “binders full of women” though.

Mitt Romney has spent over a year stating he will cut taxes for the wealthy, eliminate Obamacare and of course, the infamous “47%” quip,

Read more here.

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Random Acts of Stupidness…

Smutty ConfusedWelcome to Smutty’s Roundup of Random Acts of Stupidness.

So, Smutty learned today that Wisconsin considers mandatory health care for all Americans to be unconstitutional, but suffering and dying citizens is OK under the Constitution.  To fight this unlawful mandate, the Governor of Wisconsin has refused $37 million in Federal funds to help insure his constitutens.  After all, the residents of Wisconsin elected him to make sure the Federal Government follows the Constitution, not create a better quality of life for them.  Go Wisconsin.

Republican candidate for President Mitt Romney has math issues again when he states that being behind Rick Santorum by 34 votes is a “virtual tie”, not a loss.  And in more Republican vote finagling, the votes from eight precincts are missing.  Hmmm, can anyone remember Florida hanging chads?  Smutty’s just sayin’.

An Italian cruise ship Captain says he “tripped and landed in a lifeboat with some passengers”.  Smutty is no expert on seafaring but, what kind of captain trips into a lifeboat instead of directing the passengers in and having the crew do the actual lowering of the lifeboat?  Story sounds fishy to me (hmm, fish for lunch).  The Captain has already been caught in several lies about the accident, and has admitted to one outright.  Why would we believe anything he says about this incident.  Just put him in jail and leave us to sort out the aftermath in peace.

Finally, Smutty learned that you can make your mortgage payments on time and get kicked out because your lender, broker or title company goes out of business.  And if none of these get you, you can lose your home by making your payments too early.  Yes, each of these things happened to some well meaning humans just trying to keep their homes, but the wonderful banks operate in another space time continuum.

Whew, Smutty needs a nap already and he just had his cup of cocoa…

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