Four Paws Up for the Prez

OK, President Obama has Smutty’s vote just based on this video;

“Raise your paws in the air, wave ’em like you just don’t care”. Go Prez.  Smutty actually skipped a nap for this.

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How to get Freshly Pressed.

Readers & Writers

Consider this a tutorial. A step by step guide in how to push your writings to the forefront of the online community. Consider this an intricately considered chaperone, designed to catapult both you and your blog to the holy grail of WordPress: The Home page.

Step 1:

Repetitively stress your unrelenting zeal for kittens to fellow bloggers. There has been a fervour for Kittens in recent months, with at least fourteen thousand reported sightings of Kittens worldwide. Kitten-Sighting has become one of the most popular sports in Europe, with a vast petition to take the fiercely competitive game to the London Olympics, this summer. In my experience of WordPress, most bloggers are not Kittenophobic, and will relish any fleeting mention of the things.

Step 2:

Under any circumstances, DO NOT MENTION SOFT CHEESES. Many bloggers find soft cheeses repulsive, with a growing cult for the abolishment of soft cheese production in the…

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Smutty’s Race

SmuttySmutty appreciates all 693 of his followers.  But Smutty is disturbed that his human, Techsnoop’s Helper, has more followers than Smutty.

How can a superior species have less followers than a human?  Don’t misunderstand Smutty.  His human is very nice and provides much comforts.  Not to mention the access to a laptop and tablet needed to keep up with Smutty’s fans and friends.  But still, it smarts that Smutty may not reach 1000 followers before his human.

So, Smutty is asking all feline and canine bloggers to show some pawpport and hit that like and follow button.  Of course, humans are still welcome.

Smutty can’t nap until you show some love.

Random Acts of Stupidness…

Smutty ConfusedWelcome to Smutty’s Roundup of Random Acts of Stupidness.

So, Smutty learned today that Wisconsin considers mandatory health care for all Americans to be unconstitutional, but suffering and dying citizens is OK under the Constitution.  To fight this unlawful mandate, the Governor of Wisconsin has refused $37 million in Federal funds to help insure his constitutens.  After all, the residents of Wisconsin elected him to make sure the Federal Government follows the Constitution, not create a better quality of life for them.  Go Wisconsin.

Republican candidate for President Mitt Romney has math issues again when he states that being behind Rick Santorum by 34 votes is a “virtual tie”, not a loss.  And in more Republican vote finagling, the votes from eight precincts are missing.  Hmmm, can anyone remember Florida hanging chads?  Smutty’s just sayin’.

An Italian cruise ship Captain says he “tripped and landed in a lifeboat with some passengers”.  Smutty is no expert on seafaring but, what kind of captain trips into a lifeboat instead of directing the passengers in and having the crew do the actual lowering of the lifeboat?  Story sounds fishy to me (hmm, fish for lunch).  The Captain has already been caught in several lies about the accident, and has admitted to one outright.  Why would we believe anything he says about this incident.  Just put him in jail and leave us to sort out the aftermath in peace.

Finally, Smutty learned that you can make your mortgage payments on time and get kicked out because your lender, broker or title company goes out of business.  And if none of these get you, you can lose your home by making your payments too early.  Yes, each of these things happened to some well meaning humans just trying to keep their homes, but the wonderful banks operate in another space time continuum.

Whew, Smutty needs a nap already and he just had his cup of cocoa…

What You Shouldn’t Learn in School

schoolHow in the heck can an atheist be persecuted for their religion?  Dictionary.com defines atheist as;
“persons not inclined toward religious belief. An atheist  is one who denies the existence of a deity or of divine beings.”

So, how does a student sue the school on the grounds that a banner referring to God persecutes her religious beliefs?  If you have no religion, you can’t claim religious persecution.  You can’t have it both ways.  Either you believe in God and a religion or you don’t.  If you don’t believe in God, seeing His name should not persecute you.

This is what is wrong with the American school system.  A student can cause untold headache and frivilous lawsuits with claims that have no basis in logic and the court system takes it seriously.

Here in the animal kingdom, we swat our cubs and kittens a quick one to the ear and they straighten right up.  No court needed.

Pick a side, humans.  No one likes a namby pamby.

 

From Blogs to Tweets, Cats Rule the Net

Smutty TweetsWe all know how popular cat videos are on the Internet.  And there are countless feline blogs available to please the most discriminating reader.

Now Smutty is pleased to announce that your cat can Tweet you all day as you are away from home.  Yes, for just a few dollars and a little effort, you can build a cat toy that allows your furry loved one to send you Tweets of joy and happiness.  If this doesn’t make your day, I don’t know what will.

Smutty, however will continue to Tweet the old fashioned way, with a touchscreen tablet.

Cop Has Narrow Escape

gavelOk, so a cop gave you a ticket then asked you out to dinner.  He didn’t offer to get rid of the ticket, threaten to do more harm or follow you around.  He asked you for a date.  Say no, move on.

Noooo.. instead, you select the opportunity to make a few bucks from the city government by filing a lawsuit stating you  “suffer great fear and anxiety” from the incident.  You suffer fear and anxiety from being called beautiful and asked on a date?? No wonder you are single and destined to stay that way.  Mr. Policeman, you had a narrow escape from a shallow, money-grubbing goldigger with no brains to speak of.  Your note was cute and eloquent and deserved a dignified response, not being slapped with a frivolous lawsuit.

Chicago Judges; please do not let this ignoramus get away with trashing a great guy who simply made the mistake of asking the wrong girl out.  He thought she was special, instead she was and is slime.  No matter how beautiful she is on the outside, her insides are pure sewage.

This man did not continuously contact her, he did not stalk her, he did not even get the courtesy of an actual direct response.  Instead, she attacks his livelihood and tries to make a quick buck.  Had he continued to contact her after a “no”, she would have a case.  But she opted for the spotlight and money grab.

Humans like her justify the animal mating rituals.  Rub noses, sniff hind parts and move on.

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